Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sometimes Being Your Best Means....Honoring Yourself at Your (perceived) Worst

Wow, I can't believe I didn't blog once in June...not even a bitty line. Although, June was an extremely busy month for me, in every positive way possible! I always have blogs running through my head, I have just been putting it on the back burner to take care of everything else.... and I say this with the utmost love and happiness, as I am loving the direction my life is heading and the people who are helping me along the way, whether they know it or not. #sothankful #soblessed

Let'seeee how quickly I can recap....::inbreath:: Baking for the Farmer's Market every Saturday has kept me busy, but even more so it has drawn in a decently busy side business where I bake my paleo deliciousness for others ( coming soon) so I began baking almost every day and delivering the all natural treats to my customers. My brother and his family came to visit, the day after they left I flew to Utah to visit family and friends, took a drive to Idaho to visit my grandparents and my amazing Palm - it's our nicknames for each other, just go with it - As many of you may know, trips home keeps a person very busy seeing and doing everyone, er seeing everyone and the doing...well, you know what I mean. This trip was the most amazing trip home for me, ever, since moving away. Oh, on top of all of that I have been navigating how to write a book for a project my Mom and I have been wanting to do for years, though I never knew I´d be this involved -aka the writer- but I´m loving it and feeling the embers fire within every time I write a new line. One more thing I have been working toward accomplishing is dotdotdot I'm working with a local gym here in hopes to get certified to teach a Centergy class, so I have been trying to learn the class to teach in order to interview with them and hopefully get hired. ::outbreath::

So, as you can see, life is happily busy!

At the end of May I ended up hurting my lower back in Crossfit, not necessarily because of Crossfit but because of me pushing myself too hard... sooo, my gut - plus everyone around me, who loves me, chirping - Er...suggesting that I take the month of June off and just do some light work outs and let my back heal and rest, or the order would actually be rest and heal. I knew it was the best decision for me at the time and I began doing acupuncture, which has helped tremendously, and I feel heals me in more ways than one.

It's been 6 weeks and I have returned to Crossfit. I'm so happy to be back in the crazy physically and mentally challenging environment, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bummed at my regression, however, that is to be expected after 6 weeks away. When I left I was squatting 215# (one rep max) and snatching 95# and my endurance was pretty good! We snatched yesterday and I wasn't going for a true 2 rep max (which was the RX for that day) because I'm really trying to be patient with myself, but I put up 70# and it felt good, though I felt a small twinge in my hip and back, I let it pass before I started my next set. This was all after 6 sets of 6 squats at 120# - so I definitely pushed my body the last 2 days and I'm so sore that even strangers around me are commenting on my funny walk. "Wow, you look really sore," the coffee shop girl commented, and I just chuckled and replied, "Yeah..." - guess I wasn't ever mean to be an actress!

I say all of this to lead up to my point... and that is that I had epiphany yesterday with all this gorilla weight lifting

First off, let me say I am competitive, but I have been working on that as I cognitively know that the only competition I have is me, and nobody else. I mean, I have realized on a deeper soul level that it really isn't all that important to be "better" than the person next to me, what does that prove other than I´m operating from Ego? I don't think it's bad to use it as motivation and inspiration, but it's a fine line to navigate for those of us who feel competitive by nature. Though, I now know that our true nature isn´t competitive based at all.  Though, that is for a different blog, a different convo on a different day.

With all of this said, I think most of you would agree that it can be difficult to push yourself to your limits, to be your absolute best, most of us hover the mid-line in life -whether you're honest with yourself about it or not - and that's fine if that's your path and you're happy. However, I would also say that it is equally as difficult, and requires the same amount of discipline, to hold yourself back from pushing yourself to be your best when you are aware of your potential. I have learned from the past 2 days that it feels like it takes more discipline to refrain from pushing yourself when you recognize that it is what´s healthiest for you overall, right now.

It's a very humbling experience to know where I could have been had I not taken 6 weeks off, but the other side of that coin is that I could have injured myself worse, which is why I listened to my intuition that told me to take June off - though it ended up being 6 weeks. It was hard not to push myself to do the 145# 6 sets of 6 squats and instead stick with a weight of 120, but I did one set  of the onefourfive and knew I needed to back off, all while a team mate completed the 145#.

All of this is much deeper than numbers, weightlifting, and crossfit as it can be applied to any area in our life where we know we need to honor ourselves by taking a step back and viewing the bigger picture. All of this has made me even more aware of myself, my body, my needs, my abilities, where to push and where not to, but most importantly it keeps me in the seat of Self and honoring my body now for what it can do. And competition!? Well, it feels as if I´m holding myself back, but that feeling is accompanied with the reminder that there is no competition, I can be as great as I choose to be, and there is no competition in this world other than me getting in the way of me. In other words, get the hell out of your own way! Which is something I'm trying to continually remind myself, along with allowing myself to be my best, although my best may change a little, or a lot, every single, brand new, beautiful day. #yesthattookmeforever lol 

So, what is it that you should be honoring in yourself, instead of harping on yourself? Where should you be pushing yourself instead of settling for the mid-line life hover? And where should you be practicing the discipline to hang back a little in order to make stronger more everlasting life gains?

Just some food for thought...

Much love!!


p.s. For the record, this is the font size Blogger wanted this post in, I have no idea why my font in this post is smaller - I have tried fixing it more than once - but for whatever reason blogger wants this post to be in miniature font... so, I made it larger than normal to try to find a balance... um.. ENJOY! #annoyingblogger #winkyface

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Just a Human, Trying to Be-ing, Ordering Some Coffee

Sitting here at a coffee shop sipping on a Cafe Au Lait. Which, by the way, I just learned what exactly this fancy coffee drink was concocted of as my original request was a latte with coconut milk.

I started my order, “I’m sorry to be a pain, but because coconut milk is so rich can I please do a little less?” Not even a beat and the cocky hippie blonde man retorts, “Do you even know what a latte is?” “Uh, I know it’s predominantly milk, but I usually drink my coffee black, soooo...” I began to draw out holding back from sarcasm, “Can I just do this latte with less milk?” For some reason I began feeling defensive for my seemingly innocent coffee, apple, and almond butter order that is already over priced. It’s not as if one needs to experience condescending customer service as well. “It’s like 80% milk,” he said as he cocked his head and squinted his eyes as if adding a sarcastic “Lady” at the end of his educational coffee moment. “Well, then,” I proceeded trying not to squint my eyes back and bitingly call him a “Barista” while adding in air quotes, and opted just to ask, “What do you suggest?” He quickly instructs, “Cafe Au Lait, it’s half and half.” “Sounds good to me!” as if I had a choice, it felt, at this point. I told the cashier trying to ignore the asshole actually making my coffee, internally adding, “Oh and you're welcome for being a bi weekly customer that would love to go somewhere else but you’re the only jackasses in town that offer coconut milk...” and I wanted to say so much more in my head but stopped... well, so I thought, then I went onto something about, “If I intake dairy I get really constipated and bloaty and I highly doubt you want me hanging around your coffee shop while your assness experiences my ass,” and I could have continued to get caught up in my ego and reaction but, alas, I refrained and paid, opted for the “no thanks” tab to the “tip?” request on the fancy isomething cashiers screen. #soannoyed would be the title of my IG pic of coffee

I know I’m not supposed to assume... though it does seem is he very unhappy at his job. It seems as if a majority of the workers at this particular coffee shop are as it’s common to be treated as an inconvenience. C’est la vie I suppose. Sending him, and the others, white light as I type and detaching from his energy. I’m getting better, I don’t get as involved emotionally with other people’s junk and instead try to find the calm and peace within and listen... I have a long way to go, but I can also look behind me and see the strides and growth that I have truly made and I have to say it feels...nice...connected... compassionate... as if it’s not coming from me, rather, through me, therefore it isn't mine, it is, instead The Way.

Though, as you can see.... I stray from The Way at times - though my intention is to always practice... and then practice some more. Letting go of react - ing and just being, and when I remember to do that, I remember my breath and that always carries me through.

Namaste ;)


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Move Over That Ass is Too... Perfect!

I recently came across an article that hit close to home. It was titled,  "Barbie & the Average 19 Year Old Woman Side by Side," and the differences aren't necessarily new knowledge for me, instead a reminder of the ridiculousness out there regarding the expectations put on women and their bodies. The author is right on when she says, "She [Barbie] is an exaggeration of the model figure we are already told to look like on a daily basis." As a society, I feel, we have been working on having a healthy body image for women, but I can tell you first hand, we still have a long way to go. 

I worked at a boutique and currently go to a local Crossfit Gym and something that has been very prevelent in both environments is how constant it is to hear women speak of themselves in a negative, sad, angry, and critical way when it comes to their body. I am guilty of this as well. At the boutique when a woman decided to come out of her dressing room, she always looked amazing, but would instead say something negative, "Oh I need a tan," or "My legs are just not in shape enough," and my heart would  break, because if only they could see what I always saw, and that was a gorgeous woman looking great in a dress, jeans, skirt, whatever, then she would rock whatever she was wearing with confidence all of the time. I have to add, it's the women that seem to have such a bright shiny light on the inside that seem to be the worst, those are the women whose beauty is endless because of their soul, yet they forget to see that in themselves and instead see the body as 'not enough.'

I could also relate as I am the same way with myself.  For instance, I used to love wearing shorts and skirts, because I knew my strong muscular legs were a good feature to show off and it wasn't uncommon for people to comment on my legs, however I have now done a 180 and really never like to wear anything showing my legs, as I have seen my weight fluctuate through the years, and though I appreciate how strong my legs are, they don't look physically how I feel they should,  so I hide them, ashamed of what they have become. Though, I am working on trying to remember to appreciate them for what they are, I can almost squat 200# afterall, which may or may not be a lot to you, but it is to me and I am proud of that. I have to remember how far they have carried me through my life instead of the imperfections I see... I'm always striving to change my thinking about my body, and you should too, every single day!

But, why do we women put these crazy expectations on ourselves? Instead of embracing change due to all we have accomplished and endured in our lives, we ridicule the tiny mis-perceived imperfections and, in turn, it holds us back. It holds us back from seeing and appreciating our real beauty and passing that on to, not only our children, but other women around us. It holds us back from living our full potential because if you're always caught up in 'what could be better' then how can you really enjoy where you are and move forward from there? I think if you're working to be healthy, eating clean, working out, taking care of yourself with proper sleep, hydration, meditation, and nurturing your soul then that is what should be applauded first and foremost. As well as being a good person, of course. Then, when body image goals are or aren't reached, we can still applaud ourselves for getting up every day and doing what isn't easy, but well worth it for more reasons than just a nice body naked. It's about working to better yourself in every arena of your life, including the way we treat people, treat the earth, our animals (yes, insects included, lol), and so on.. not just about improving our body... for what some may argue is the ego, but that is a personal issue to be defined. 

I am an avid Instagrammer, good or bad, it is an amazing tool and has expanded my knowledge of so many things in such a short amount of time. I am a huge fan of everyone I follow, because they make me better, smarter, 'awake-er', happier, critical thinker-er, lol, etc.. Onto my point, Please read the following... my focus not being about DMT, though that would make for a killer blog topic as well, but instead focusing on the last 3 sentences... enjoy!

Wow, right?! YOUR BODY LOVES YOU!! How great does that love feel?? Just stop and feel the love from your body. How amazingly kind to inherit such a great machine when we 'leave' the soul realm to enter our earthly bodies. Sounds corny, but I could seriously cry when I think of this love. It's so true that our bodies have been there since the beginning of our time and they are our best friend, our biggest fan, and it isn't healthy to talk about our body as if it just an inanimate extension of ourselves, because it isn't!! I mean, cognitively we know this, but we forget to feel this on a day to day, moment to moment, basis. Maybe we should start, wait no, we should absolutely start being aware of our bodies in this manner. We are not our thoughts (though our thought vibrations do create our lives) nor our bodies, we are beings, living now, and that is the only 'time' that matters, but our minds and bodies work with our soul as a trio... and our bodies are so precious and do so much for us, so let's instead start finding gratitude for that, and not disgust in our cellulite, bulges, pimples, too big or too small thighs, arms, forehead, or asses. Never stop seeking greatness, yet also honor that which you are, because you are so much more than you're giving yourself credit for.. so much more. 

Let's violently abandon the expectations and messages we feel are put on us from society, hollywood, etc, and begin to reign in the amazing light that we truly are and appreciate our beautiful bodies that never fail us, no matter how hard we are on them with negative talk, poor diet, lack of or excessive exercise. Is it going to be easy? Well, it depends on you becoming aware of your daily talk to yourself and the things you say out loud. Just start paying attention to your thoughts and self talk, because as we become aware we learn and therefore figure out what and how to change. As you become aware of your thought habits, begin changing them by instantly replacing something negative thought or said with something very positive.  It can be done, but as with any sort of conditioning, it takes time, patience, and love....lots of love. 

MUCHO AMOR my readers... 

P.S. Don't forget...You're beyond Beautiful! 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Contemplating life over Altoids

I think I am on my 5th Altoids. Yes, I'm feeling guilty. I really want to leave the 's' off of the end but that's not the correct name of the delicious round wintergreeny mint I'm surfing the net and mulling over what to write, not just for the blog but for a project I have started with my Mom as well. As I surf and attempt to write I am in my Mom's apartment and she is to blame for this box of Altoids screaming my name and demanding that I eat.them.all.  6th Altoids - which I'm pretty sure isn't paleo

As I was browsing around I was surfing my cousin Sarah's FB page - she is a writer, photographer, mother, wife well fiance but close enough!, artist, yogi, vegan, and so many more amazing things make up her being that I couldn't list them all and keep this post short. who am I kidding? I'm always long winded!  As I observed her online presence I had a passing thought about how she really does a lot, has so many talents, and doesn't seem to have just one focus, which was followed up with, "Guess that's the Pisces in us," because I'm completely the same way.

I have so many interests it's no wonder that I am where I am. where I am is great by the way - I'm just referring to the journey of a steady career, I supposeA while ago I was telling Matt about my recent "aha" moment 7th Altoids that the Universe truly responds to what you create and that I have obviously spent time (sadly I wasn't practicing full awareness) shifting my focus so much that I haven't fully committed to one thing, because I want to this, then that, then there, then hey look! So in turn that is sort of what I have received - again, it's no wonder this last year or two was a bit - um - challenging. Granted, it's always the same ideas rolling through my heart and head, but I haven't fully and actively pursued one of them at a time, or all of them all of the time,  and instead thought of them as hobbies and tried 'attracting' a career instead, of some sort, that ultimately probably isn't truly me.

Is this making any sense?

Some people know their path from the moment their born, some may not know right away but will find it a lot quicker than others, then there is me. Joyfully living in the world longing for nothing more than a 'career' to call my own and getting samples and tastes here and there, but with nothing fully satisfying this palate of mine.  I have an affection for life, always have and always will, and I'm "eternally optimistic," as a friend once called me, so I have tried not to dwell, but it hasn't always been easy. 9th Altoids  Of course, being an Army wife doesn't make it easy, but one can't point fingers or blame, as it's not going to help the situation. I've actually found more peace this year in 'accepting what is' than ever before. I don't feel a pressure, an anxiety, or that fear of 'it not happening', whatever it is. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am now 31. Maybe those pressures came with being my twenties and really wanting to have it all figured out before 30. Then, when I didn't, I kept moving forward, trying new things, and realizing I still felt pretty damn good in many ways for hitting the three one mark and that I probably know now more than ever before. I shouldn't just accept 'defeat' so to speak, and a good friend of mine reminded me, "You never stop seeking, so many do - yet you don't, that's the great thing about you." Her comment made me realize that I won't ever stop seeking, what I seek may change, but seeking more love, information, lessons, relationships, opportunities, and who knows what else, will never stop, and why should it?

I feel a peace now that I can't ever say that I've felt before. I do have a career, maybe it's not traditional, but it's freaking awesome. The life my husband and I have created is triple freaking awesome, so if I'm loving the life I and we are living then I must be doing something right, eh?

I'm a firm believer that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, though some days that mentality is harder to accept than others. So, my cousin and I are souls that soar in all sorts of different directions. By society's big corporation standards we may appear as less, but I can promise you that because we have chosen to soar and explore, we have found so much more in ourselves and stepped away from fear and into love, and in fact are more. I don't mean more than someone else, just more than we would have been had we settled and not let our constant change of focus and love for many things take us down the unbeaten path.

I've made a commitment to myself that I will pursue my top interests, dreams, what have you. The ones that have been in your heart all along and though they may seem small, they're big to me, they are a purpose to me and have a hope behind them to help people. I'm not going to accept that there may not be money for some things I want to pursue, and instead figure out ways to make it happen, I'm going to exercise my interests and talents and though I may be doing 3 - 4 things at a time I think my Mom would concur that, that's just how I've always been and who I am. I just think it's time to put full effort and vision into my heart's desires instead of thinking they're a far off 'one day' realization.

I encourage you to do the same.

Maybe you have always known your calling, maybe you're just finding it, maybe you've been living it but something else in your heart is starting to blossom, don't wait, live your life and purpose now. Trust me, I know it feels easier said than done, I'm a walking example to that as I get so caught up in the 'how' and needing of approval, but poo poo to that, we are the only ones in our shoes and let's face it, nobody will ever walk even an inch in our shoes, so it's up to us to create our life... it's also up to us to be cheerleaders for each other, leave judgment behind, and just encourage someone's efforts and life regardless of how different they may be from our own, we don't have to understand it or them, we just have to have love in our hearts and stand by our fellow friend.

Stepping off soapbox.

But for real, support each other cause it takes bee-a-el-el-es to put yourself out there in whatever you feel pulled towards. This is a big badass world and I mean that in a very positive way. What I want is simple - and  I know as I achieve more goals I've set up for myself I'll create new ones - why settle in life, ever?

Mucho amor!

p.s. I stopped at 10 Altoids - that's an extra 30 ish calories of sugar I sure as hell didn't need. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Just say no to disease and drive thru's and choose to make it yourself!

I'm sure most of you have, by now, heard the term Paleo. Well, if you haven't it's also known as the 'Caveman Diet' because it's all about only consuming what a caveman could, which isn't processed and packaged food, wheat, grains, dairy, etc.

Whole 30 is a somewhat similar diet though it's more strict and extremely unforgiving. I took the Whole 30 challenge in January and completed it successfully and was surprised at how much I had changed. Sadly, not my weight so much - but that was due to some over nutty consumption - but my skin looked healther and let's just say parts of my life became more regular than they had ever, and I mean ever, been. I loved cleansing myself of everything but whole, clean food. Since then I've strived to eat that way, granted I'm not following Whole 30 but I do my best to eat extremly clean. I haven't reintroduced dairy into my diet at all, I no longer chew gum, nor consume grains, sugars, and only sweetners of the Stevia kind once in a while. The things I've eliminated don't even taste the same to me anymore. I did try a sip of Matt's soda a while back and something he had butter on, and I have zero desire for those things because they just don't taste good to me anymore. Needless to say, long gone are the days when I thought Lean Cuisine's and Fiber One bars were good and healthy for me. Nothing against Lean Cuisine, but nothing can replace what good old Mother Nature you offers you!

I'm not here to push you into either of these diets, only to share with you what they are and how they, especially Whole 30, benefitted me.. OH and share a recipe... or 5 along the way.

Matt and I were blessed enough to have the opportunity to buy a quarter of a grass fed, hormone free, steriod free, good ol' fashion cow through some great friends of his. Paleo is very meat based, and something I struggle with at times because I'm not a believer that you need animal protein with every meal, so I'm still finding that balance. However, if I'm going to consume animal protein it's going to be the cleanest that I find - and afford of course - but there is that saying going around about how expensive organics is, "Well have you priced Cancer lately?" I'm close to whatever that quote is, and you know it, buuut it's true! It's hard to part with that extra $2-$3 when I'm buying cauliflower, and I don't always do it, but when I can, I do, beacuse there is no better place to put my money than into appreciating and taking care of this Earthly body we were so generously given.

I digress...

What is one to do with their first batch of clean ground beef? Make burgers of course!

These aren't just any burgers, they're burgers made with a special seasoning called love. These burgers we're topped with grilled onions and mushrooms, avocado, organic mustard, only to be graced upon home made grain free buns, with sweet potato and rutabaga fries as its side kick.

I can't even begin to describe how amazing these burgers were! Seriously! Matt and I are huge Five Guys fans, but they had nothing on these babies! There was a slight sweetness to the bun that complimented the burger and its fixins so well that I'm sort of considering staying up til midnight just to make some more.  I highly suggest the next time you grill you take the extra time and add some love to your burger babies!

Perfectly concocted buns that may look thin but surely aren't in taste!
 Recipe below.

Buy a sweet potato and a rutabaga, peel rutabaga, slice both rutabaga and
sweet potato into fries, toss in EVOO, or healthy oil of your choice, salt and pepper them,
 spread on parchment paper and bake at 325 for about 30 minutes or until desired
 french fry like consistency occurs.

Look at that beautiful clean meat topped with our lovely additions of
grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, avocado, tomato, and jalapeno for my hotty husbo!

My babies enjoying this great meal, please ignore the bottle to the left
as I do not condone such C words, in fact, husbo is now trying to quit the
 soda, pop, what have you.  3 cheers for him! Oh but don't ignore
 our newly planted garden!!

Super amazing bun recipe that you could really adapt for any sort of things you may want or need 'bread' with! Thanks to Ditch the Wheat and my own little tweaks I am excited for you all to whip out your bowls and mixers and create some healthy goodness in your kitchens!

1 1/2 C Almond Flour
2 Egg
1 tsp Honey - I may have added a little more as I don't like the constraints of measuring spoons - or cups for that matter
1/2 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Salt
8 tsp Water

1. Preheat oven to 350 and prepare baking sheet with parchment paper. This website suggests a donut pan but this lady just improvised and slapped some same sized circles of batter on the sheet, not too thick, and as you can see they turned out like buns!

2. Mix Almond flour, egg yolks, salt, baking soda, and honey. Yes, you actually need to separate your egg whites, it's okay, I believe in you! If a piece of the shell drops just use the larger shell still in your hand to fish it out, works like a charm!

3. Beat egg whites until stiff peaks form. Whatever that means, just know you're going to be beating your egg whites longer than you probably want, but keep calm and cook on, soon enough you'll have those whities looking pretty and it's on to the next step.

4. Fold egg whites into the batter, I sort of folded, sort of stirred, sort of ended up beating it all together, didn't seem to ruin anything. The great thing about the kitchen is it's a safe place to play, it's hard to mess up, and most things can be fixed.

5. Bake for about 10 min or until the circles of goodness look done and goldeny delicious- which shouldn't be longer than 10 minutes unless you made some ufo saucer type circles on your pan.

As for the Hamburger, all I did was mix salt, pepper, garlic, garlic powder, onion salt, italian seasoning, and garlic pepper, uh - I like garlic, made them into some patties and threw them on the grill, easy enough!

This recipe is actually could be Whole 30 approved as long as you don't add any condiments nor use the buns, unless you've ventured to make your own mayo and ketchup! However, the point of this isn't to make you feel you have to eat Whole 30, it's only to show and share how great eating clean truly is in sooo many ways!!


Much Love!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Who Does She Think She Is? Um, A Sporadic Blogger?

Oh my gosh she is baaaack (oprah announcing voice) -  ladies and gents, ooor any audience member who hasn't left the following of this almost fairy tale!

Oh what have I been up to you ask? Oh well, ya know... not writing, obviously, and I have to say, I'm never as complete when my strokes of genius aren't released. Okay, well, I have my own idea of genius! But it's true that I'm not whole when I am not pounding away at the key board with something nonsensical or sensical, or unicorns, flutterbies, and the like.

Truthfully though, it hasn't been that I haven't wanted to write or even had entire posts scrolling, much like the intro to Spaceballs, in my head, it's that I didn't allow myself to get the scrolling of words outside of me. Why? Oh, this part is easy, because I write about what is going on around me, good, bad, indifferent, and there is something to be said about writing about your life when your life consists of you, your husband, animals, and ventures to the gym. But when it came time for this big girl to get a job, and I successfully landed one back in October, I learned that when I wanted to feed the writing monster, I, all of a sudden felt at risk because now my boss and coworkers, who I'm pretty sure knew how to read the English language, could now get a glimpse into my head that, maybe, I didn't want. This isn't to say my posts were negative, but I just wasn't willing to even put all of me out there for people I needed and wanted to foster a professional relationship with. I actually always wanted to blog about being around women so much, along with watching women come try on clothes and how my heart would break for them for being so hard on their self. Oh yeah, my job was being the Manager at a Boutique, pretty are-a-dee huh? did you catch the wasTwas fun for sure and I was blessed to learn a lot, perhaps more than I wanted towards the end and that's not a good thing - or is it? lol, but that's for another day.

Another life changer in October (don't act like you don't associate the color orange with october, winkyface) was that my Mummy came to live with us. By 'with us', I mean she is renting the mother-in-law apartment that is attached to our superawesomebeautifulhomethatIlove. The Madre, as I often call her, is now travel nursing, but that wasn't always so kiddos. As much as I loved having her here full time, it was an adjustment. I know it was for her too, even on another scale, because there is something about moving far away from your home state that is well... a lot to freakin process, that something could also be called scary, or holyshitmoments, or whatevercrazyacefeelingsyourehavingatthetime. I'd bet the farm that any Military Spouse would have all kinds of fill in the blanks on this topic.  I feel like I should apologize for the run on sentences, or the fact that I almost spelled sentences, sentances, smh (grams, AND mom, that means shakes my head) but I just love them, it comes from the crazy hashtag world, #whyitssofuntohashtagrandomobnoxiousstuffIllneverknow. My friend Hatcher, also affectionately known as Randee, will feel me on this. ::daps:: 

So, as you can see readers, lil Fallonella was apprehensive, but for good reason. I wasn't willing to risk my words being misinterpreted and causing pain, or pleasure apparently, thems jokes...kinda, and well, I wasn't willing to allow this new group I was working with read my crazy rants and receive their judgment, non-judgment, opinion, non opinion, etc, it is a little presumptuous of me to even assume they'd want to read my amazing blog?! lol ALSO, most importantly, I didn't feel I'd be able to write unfiltered and with pure honesty that my heart so yearns for, and that's something I always strive for in all aspects of my life. Though I must add in that I have a personal rule, and that is to remember that my Grandmother reads this and I will never do anything to embarrass her! :) love you grams! I may not always succeed, but try I must!

Other huge life changers? Well, my adorable princess of 10 years passed away in December...17th to be exact.. don't worry, I am sure I'll blog about that as well, because there is nothing more I love than to relive the early morning hours my heart was ripped out. Aka losing my furbaby chihuahua Lea. Okay, maybe that's a bit intense, but it was a heart breaker. On the bright side, we have a new furbaby, Georgia the Chiweenie! If it weren't for her and my Mom's pup Hollywood, I think the absence of Lea would be even more painful. Georgia is a rough and tumble tom boy, yet still needs to be in your lap, get showered with affection, and jumps in fright if the wind blows just right. She is actually quite the scare-dee chiwi, but we don't tell her that, we let her think she has a cape and is saving the world! Though, I'm pretty sure she saved us :) We love having her here and it wouldn't be right if I didn't thank Miss Shyla for recognizing she was meant to be ours and getting her from UT to GA in a jiffy so we could begin our new life with her.

Well, there is so much more to come from this heart of mine and I certainly hope you'll stay tuned. Regardless, I'll still be here writing, posting, reading, and of course living, loving, breathing... oh I could do this all day!

Much love!
p.s. If you don't all ready, follow a beeecher on Instagram! I promise it's usually really corny with no hash tag spared! ;)  what a surprise!

Now, enjoy some pics of our furbabies!

Georgia on top of Hollywood taking a pause from wrestling
because they hear Dad coming, dun dun dun!

Seriously! I mean SERIOUSLY!
Of course I have to include my first love.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Taketh then complaineth?

I came across something the other day that made me react in a "double u-tee-eff" kind of way. Between my damn Oprah radio and people in general I am now blogging about 'givers and takers'.

Somebody close to me was whining about takers, which I can appreciate as I've had my fair share in my day, and have probably been one more than once. Though I've come to realize it's generally because we have something to learn from them, the experience itself, or both. However, this person was such a taker from me at one point that I was dumbfounded how she could now be complaining of the very act she was guilty of for so many years.

I understand that as beings we are okay with all and that as humans we have the choice to react, so my reaction was little, though a few years ago I would have gotten all attached to the emotion of it and relived how many ways from Sunday she tooketh from me. So, I'm happy to announce I did not ride that roller coaster this time and instead pondered the idea, "Does she even realize what a taker she was at one point, and possibly still is?  I just personally don't allow it. 

Sidebar: did you know that it takes 90 seconds for a negative emotion to run through your body. So, next time you feel yourself beginning to have a negative emotion about something, pause - watch the clock - and then in 90 seconds come back to being. I bet it'll help your situation at the time as well. 

Of course in the same 24 hour period this happens, Oprah's ever so insightful radio show was talking about the law of attraction. I wasn't able to catch the name of her guest because whenever I have the opportunity to listen to her radio show I am in the car. shocker, I know. Sometimes it's a 20 minute drive, but most times it's a 10-15 max drive time, though I know I mentioned in a previous post that I often reside on my tinted windowed vehicle after I've arrived at my destination in order to keep listening to the bleeding wisdom my heart so longs to hear.

Somebody in the audience was asking why they were getting so many 'bad' people in their life when all they do is 'good' and Oprah's guest replied, "If you're experience bad people in your life then it's most likely because you were bad, and vice versa," which makes sense if you believe in the law of Karma. So then, why do so many people choose not to see their own time in life when they could have been better? I wonder if the 'bad' people leave once we "learn" that we too are them?

I can understand being blind, as I have been many a time, but I am thankful to say I have generally come around. Due to my 'wash the hands' mentality with people who hurt me it has sadly at times taken me days, months, and even years - with a certain someone - she knows who she is to come around to the thought that maybe I wasn't the only one who was hurt. However, once I have gone down the path to realization of what the other person in my life was feeling at that moment and that I had also caused pain, I always always apologize. If possible to the person directly, if not then I offer my apology to the universe for that person, as well as send them love.

It absolutely works, because I look at my life and all the people surrounding me are nothing but the utmost genuine, amazing, loving, caring, trusting people all around. I mean, it has taken some time to get to this place, as we all have our journey and experience with the seasons of people throughout our life. Though, I am so beyond grateful, and often don't know what I did to deserve such beautiful people in my world, but I wouldn't trade them for the world and I hope that I never lose sight of how rare this is and always tell them how thankful I am for each and every one of them.

The other day I was lucky enough to receive 2 gifts in the mail, both from friends, thank you gifts for honestly - really nothing I did. Little shits!! lol. Though, it's quite awing when you attract the 'right' people who show you how thankful they are for your friendship and love that they make the littlest things you do seem so big.

That's how we should all treat each other. Appreciate the little things people do for you more than you think you normally would. How could we all not grow and attract even more positive people from doing that?!

I leave with you with one last thought.. Oprah (god, I know, I can't stop!!! lol) said to be careful what you pray for... which goes hand in hand with the quote 'be careful what you wish/ask for' type thing, because if you pray for courage, you will get a chance to be courageous, if you pray for more love then you may receive the chance to love more people who may not be reciprocal of wished emotion. If you pray for success then you will receive scenarios to give you the chance to succeed... but the definition of how each of these come to us is not up to us. So, we may find ourselves feeling worse off than before... so maybe it's more practical be grateful and show thanks for all that you have in this life, appreciate those positive people, and pay no mind to that which you don't appreciate or necessarily like in your life, be it people, things, experiences, etc.

As we have often heard, "Where your attention goes, energy flows."

So, what type of people are you surrounded by? Why? If it's not something you like then maybe look at yourself... were you or are you like them? Or, are you too soft and accepting of those that treat you poorly and instead need to 'man up' and demand people to treat you the way your precious self deserves? I understand everything has risks, as some of you may be afraid of losing those around you and being alone, but that is an important journey as well, learning to live with self and love thyself. We all need to work on trusting the flow and moving from fear... :) And in the mean time demand your life and those that surround you to treat you as you deserve and to live by the golden rule, and never forget to practice what you preach.. I sure have to if I'm going to blog about it! lol

Either way, we are all works in progress. I will offer prayer for the takers that they recognize their taking, as well as the givers that they keep it in balance. And I will also pray that I, and all of you, live as God intends.

Peace, Love, and lots of hugs!


p.s. I may or may not be getting ready to tune into Oprah's interview with Rihanna.... I guess you'll never know.